Blog or Not?

A statistically improbable polymath's views on politics and culture.

Tuesday, April 05, 2005
And now for a word from Rome...
Catholic canon law states that if the cardinals so choose, anyone who can become a priest or a bishop can become pope--that is, every non-married Catholic male on the planet. That's a lot of candidates--far more than the 118 voting cardinals everyone agrees makes up the "remotely possible" field, of which only about ten or fifteen are in the "will actually get votes" field*.

But everyone's focused on the likely candidates. Let's examine some of the more-famous candidates of the former group, shall we?

Bono--Wait. He's married, and he might not even be baptized Catholic. But wouldn't Bono make a great pope? It's time the Irish got a pope, and Bono is a great humanitarian and musician who's certainly very popular in both the First World and the Third World. On a more frivolous note, his papal name is a no-brainer, his sunglasses would look great with the miter, and The Edge could serve as papal secretary of state.

Fr. Andrew Greeley--Actually is eligible, and has already been ordained, so being made a bishop shouldn't be any problem. Like the previous pope, he's intellectually-inclined and a best-selling author; moreover, he's made firm moral statements on sexual abuse within the Church and the war in Iraq. Plus, he's promised to resign after making a few small adjustments in canon law (extending the priesthood to women, making priestly celibacy optional, that sort of thing... nothing really bearing on the teachings of Christ). After a twenty-six year long papacy, it'll be nice to have a short one.

A member of the Kennedy family--Following the grand tradition of the great families of Italy each having a go at the papacy, perhaps the cardinals should start with the great families of other nations. We'll start with the Kennedys, but we can then move onto the von Hapsburgs, the Grimaldi, etc. If the Church wants to be imperial, let it BE imperial!

*The full membership of this field will be known only to God and the cardinals who count the votes; however, early exit polls suggest Cardinal Francis Arinze of Nigeria will probably be in this field.

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